I am sitting down to write my thoughts on the year 2015. A year that I knew coming into it would bring new life and had no idea would leave me missing one of the biggest influences in my life. But you know what? God was faithful through it all. I have went back and read the past few New Years Posts I have written and I said something similar to that in all of them. And you know why? Because Jesus is just flat out good and He is faithful every single step of life.
Deacon was born in February and God's protection was evident from the beginning of a scary birth. He and I made it through fine and Deacon suffered no long term effects. Every day I get to watch this spunky, flirty, smart child of mine make new messes, learn new things, and laugh a lot. I am blessed to have amazing older kids who are almost as fascinated with him as Dustin and I are.
I have raised mostly teenagers this year and it is FABULOUS. I am not joking. I love older kids. Yes, attitudes and eye rolls and loud protesting huffs are annoying. But long important conversations, practical jokes, and them being able to do some things for them self are amazing. The good far outweighs the bad. I have gotten to watch relationships with Jesus take off this year and that is so much fun. I have seen terrible pasts begin turning into beautiful futures. I get to see redemption and restoration every day. My job is better than yours :)
I maintained some of the most important friendships in my life. Marriage and work and school and busyness did not kill them. I am proud of that. I am proud of that because I know with everything in me that it is because of Jesus Christ, His goodness, and that we all are trying hard to walk with him everyday. I am so thankful to have those people to run to when times get hard. Those types of people are direct gifts from God that will without a doubt push us and confront us and encourage us and will be some of the first ones I will seek out to party with after I get up off my face at Jesus's feet. They will be a huge reason why I just might run this race on earth half way decent. They are a physical representation of God's grace in my life.
I learned that in the midst of your greatest heartbreak standing in your shower and sobbing and raising your hands and just telling God "Thank you." will defeat the devil quicker than anything. I learned that we have the choice every day to be mad or be disappointed or sad, and those feelings are totally allowed and they are needed sometimes and they have to be worked through, but for me personally, I found that being determined to stand every day in gratefulness totally kicks those other feelings in the teeth. I have always tried to be thankful and I feel like I am in my relationship with Christ but losing my grandfather was like Satan personally called me out and said, "Are you really?" I was determined with everything in me to be able to say "Yes!" to that. It wasn't and still isn't always easy. When I pass his house and he isn't sitting outside just hoping to wave at me, I get sad for a moment, and then I thank God that I had someone in my life who was willing to sit outside for hours just to see me drive by. Thankful that I knew that kind of love. Thankful that he got what he prayed for and met Deacon. Thankful for the incredible legacy that he leaves behind. Choosing joy and thankfulness are actions. They don't just happen. I have to work at them and I have to make effort. But that is ok. God knew the road wouldn't be easy and he has taken my hand every step of the way and been a still, small voice in my heart saying, "Remember gratefulness." He isn't mad when I feel those other things, he felt them once too. But he is there to make sure that I don't stay in them. That I remember to find God in the dark moments. Because he is there. I am so thankful to have a Savior that walks every little moment with me and doesn't leave me to make it on my own.
2015 was a beautiful year. I mean that. A new life with Deacon being born and my Papa D beginning his new life in Heaven. That is beautiful. Feeling more love and grace and faithfulness than ever before. You know, I have a feeling that every blog I ever write on a New Year will be about how God has proved himself faithful. Because every year of my life I have seen it more and more and I know that will not stop. God won't just quit being faithful one day. His character won't allow him to. His love for me will not let him just leave me to take it all on my own. He will walk with me and talk with me(did you sing that part?!) and always remind me that he loves me so very dearly.
Deacon was born in February and God's protection was evident from the beginning of a scary birth. He and I made it through fine and Deacon suffered no long term effects. Every day I get to watch this spunky, flirty, smart child of mine make new messes, learn new things, and laugh a lot. I am blessed to have amazing older kids who are almost as fascinated with him as Dustin and I are.
I have raised mostly teenagers this year and it is FABULOUS. I am not joking. I love older kids. Yes, attitudes and eye rolls and loud protesting huffs are annoying. But long important conversations, practical jokes, and them being able to do some things for them self are amazing. The good far outweighs the bad. I have gotten to watch relationships with Jesus take off this year and that is so much fun. I have seen terrible pasts begin turning into beautiful futures. I get to see redemption and restoration every day. My job is better than yours :)
I maintained some of the most important friendships in my life. Marriage and work and school and busyness did not kill them. I am proud of that. I am proud of that because I know with everything in me that it is because of Jesus Christ, His goodness, and that we all are trying hard to walk with him everyday. I am so thankful to have those people to run to when times get hard. Those types of people are direct gifts from God that will without a doubt push us and confront us and encourage us and will be some of the first ones I will seek out to party with after I get up off my face at Jesus's feet. They will be a huge reason why I just might run this race on earth half way decent. They are a physical representation of God's grace in my life.
I learned that in the midst of your greatest heartbreak standing in your shower and sobbing and raising your hands and just telling God "Thank you." will defeat the devil quicker than anything. I learned that we have the choice every day to be mad or be disappointed or sad, and those feelings are totally allowed and they are needed sometimes and they have to be worked through, but for me personally, I found that being determined to stand every day in gratefulness totally kicks those other feelings in the teeth. I have always tried to be thankful and I feel like I am in my relationship with Christ but losing my grandfather was like Satan personally called me out and said, "Are you really?" I was determined with everything in me to be able to say "Yes!" to that. It wasn't and still isn't always easy. When I pass his house and he isn't sitting outside just hoping to wave at me, I get sad for a moment, and then I thank God that I had someone in my life who was willing to sit outside for hours just to see me drive by. Thankful that I knew that kind of love. Thankful that he got what he prayed for and met Deacon. Thankful for the incredible legacy that he leaves behind. Choosing joy and thankfulness are actions. They don't just happen. I have to work at them and I have to make effort. But that is ok. God knew the road wouldn't be easy and he has taken my hand every step of the way and been a still, small voice in my heart saying, "Remember gratefulness." He isn't mad when I feel those other things, he felt them once too. But he is there to make sure that I don't stay in them. That I remember to find God in the dark moments. Because he is there. I am so thankful to have a Savior that walks every little moment with me and doesn't leave me to make it on my own.
2015 was a beautiful year. I mean that. A new life with Deacon being born and my Papa D beginning his new life in Heaven. That is beautiful. Feeling more love and grace and faithfulness than ever before. You know, I have a feeling that every blog I ever write on a New Year will be about how God has proved himself faithful. Because every year of my life I have seen it more and more and I know that will not stop. God won't just quit being faithful one day. His character won't allow him to. His love for me will not let him just leave me to take it all on my own. He will walk with me and talk with me(did you sing that part?!) and always remind me that he loves me so very dearly.
Comments
Post a Comment