Last week, I was asked to speak at a place here in Decatur that does drug rehab classes called Lifesource. I absolutely loved it and have plans to continue helping out some there. It is ran by a friend of mine and Dustin's and yesterday she invited us to come watch drug court and see what it was all about. I went and loved it! The celebrations of people making choices daily to change their lives was so exciting! But this blog is really about God doing something I couldn't even imagine today. As I went in and got my seat that my friend had saved for me on the front row. I sat and spoke to a lady holding a baby beside me. As I started surveying my surroundings I was pondering and asking God "What do you have for me? Who am I supposed to love on today?" And then I hear a voice behind me say something along the lines of "Hey. What are you doing here?" I turn around and Holden and Chelsea are there. If you don't know the history(I can't remember if I have blogged on it before)...There was a period of time where Holden pretty much lived at our house. We just tried to love him through his recovery. It was very emotional with many ups and downs and I spent many nights laying in my bathtub crying and begging God for his healing. When I got asked to speak at the rehab last week Holden and I talked for a while about what I should say and how to approach the people there. One thing I love about Holden is, right or wrong, we have always been honest with one another. Today when he asked me why I was there I explained I had been invited to see what it was all about. Chelsea got a big grin and said "He is presenting today!" I did not really know what that meant at first but quickly put together that it meant he would be speaking before the whole court. I said "I am going to cry!" He laughed and said as soon as he and Chelsea saw me they said "She is going to cry." I learned that they only present twice the whole time in drug court. The one I witnessed today and when he graduates. Only a few people present each time. The odds of today being his day to present were low and the odds of me being at a drug court were even lower. I have wept a lot of tears over that boy. Tears of begging God to let him live one more day. Tears of begging for his safety. Tears pleading for his healing. The last year though, I have cried so many tears of joy and thankfulness. I will forever hold onto the memory of him getting married. Something I never thought he would live to see. He walked out onto the pulpit at church and made eye contact with me and nodded and smiled. Dustin knew he was looking at me and looked over at me and grinned. I cried and cried and cried some more. Today when they called his name, he got to stand up and tell of his life before drug court. He got to tell of the step he has made. The job he holds. The classes he attends. And the marriage he has(HUGE shout out to Chelsea. Without her Holden would not have made it this far. She is strength and encouragement for him. She believes in him. Everybody needs that in their life. She also brings amazing love to him and out of him.) And I cried. I cried because my God is so faithful. I never really should have been there today. I have never sat through any court proceeding in my life. God used a crazy set of events to let me see his faithfulness today. I kept repeating over and over "Only Jesus." God answers prayers that we don't even know to ask for and he also answers ones that we spend years begging for. Holden will graduate in October and his charges will be dropped. I intend to be there crying and cheering. Only my Jesus could have worked things for me today to see that boy. To see that love does make a difference and that God is in control even when we feel like we have nothing to hold on to. Holden wrote me from rehab when he first went and told me that he did not want to let me down. I told him that he was never letting me down. That all I cared about was him being healthy. That he has one of the best hearts of any individual I have ever met and that if he kept fighting this and finally beat it he was going to do great things. Well, his great things have started. He stood up and encouraged a large group of people today that they can change and that they can get their lives in order and be happy without using. And he encouraged me that God will finish what He starts. Not always on our time or how we want it but He will complete it. And God will give us hugs to let us know He is with us and loves us and wants us to keep walking in love. I left the courtroom and hugged them both and told them how proud I was and how much I loved them. I got into my car and I drove the 2 miles to my house. I put my car in park. And I wept. Like full on ugly cry. I still can't get over how God worked it today. I am so honored to have gotten to be a small part of Holden's life. To know his heart. To have seen him low and have walked with him there. And to now see him on his way up the mountain and finding his treasure along the way. The pride I felt for that kid today was overwhelming. As was the joy and love. I will go to sleep tonight saying "Only Jesus."
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