My sweet great grandfather, Elmer Cecil McCaghren, passed away yesterday at the age of 96. We celebrated his birthday with him at the nursing home just a couple of weekends ago. While it is very sad, especially at this time of year, I could not help but have joy in my heart at the thought that he is now in Heaven with the love of his life and bride of 74 years, Audie Mae McCaghren. She left us 4 years ago and he never quit hurting from it or wanting to be with her. They had the kind of love that I prayed my whole life for. They found their greatest joy in their family and it was evident to me my whole life that they couldn’t be happier than when everyone was there with them enjoying one another’s company. I decided to record some of my memories of them.
CHRISTmas was Granny’s favorite time of year. She would start making candy days before. I still have memories of being in the kitchen with her and my grandmother and mother making the cream cheese candy and cherry candy. She whistled the whole time and sang. Joy is one of the best words I can use to describe her. Robin and I would help her decorate, as would her daughter in laws and daughter. When we asked Grandaddy what he thought, he always thought it looked great. We had done a wonderful job. J Grandaddy was her protector and watcher. He let her do just as she pleased but always carefully watched her. He always grinned, and if you caught him watching her he would wink at you. At Christmas time, everybody got a set amount of money. On Christmas Eve we would ALL gather at their house and eat and open presents. If you were young your mom got your money ahead of time and bought you a gift from them to open, if you chose cash, you got it that night in an envelope with your name on it. Their giving spirit was always evident at this time. If someone brought a friend or new boyfriend or girlfriend that was unexpected, Granny would sneak back and make them an envelope too. Nobody was ever left out. Granny LOVED presents. She would tear into hers as soon as she could and if Grandaddy didn’t open his quick enough she would get his too! HA! He just smiled at her. Easter was the same way. She would sit in the yard and watch us all hunt eggs. She loved it. Laughter was part of her daily life, and she laughed often.
When I was younger I played lots of tournament softball, so it left time and funds for a long vacation to the beach at a shortage. So for our vacation, we would go to their trailer at the lake and take Granny and Grandaddy with us. There was only one big bed so they slept in it while my family made a pallet in the living room floor. I remember being woke up many mornings to the sound of Granny cooking breakfast and whistling. Whistling was how you knew she felt good and was so happy. She would cook breakfast every morning we were there. Then it gave her the rest of the day to do something else she enjoyed, fishing. She couldn’t wait to get down to the dock and fish. I remember her showing me how to clean a fish at the lake. She would get so excited to catch one. She would scream and carry on. So much fun. While Granny was enjoying her fishing, Grandaddy would be walking the bank of sitting and watching her. He got a kick out of her excitement. Finding you happiness in someone else’s…isn’t that a wonderful thing. This also makes me think of her singing the song that ended “with your hands in your pockets and your pockets in your pants, see the little fishies do the hoochie coochie dance!” while she did the motions to it!
Robin and I and my little brother would spend lots of time with them at their house. We would help her cook, play outside under their watch, go through pictures, and play dominoes. She loved dominos. She taught all of us to play and we would play for hours. Grandaddy would watch from his chair and cheer us on. Cooking with her was wonderful. She tried to teach us to make her cornbread but we were too young to appreciate what she was teaching us. Going through pictures always led to stories from both of them that we all soaked in. Playing outside could turn into a lesson too…She taught us, in her early 80’s how to play Annie Over. This is a game where people stand on both sides of the house and throw a ball to the other side while the other people try to catch it. You yell Annie Over when you throw it. We had to throw the ball for her, but she taught us the rules while Grandaddy watched and said “Momma don’t you get hurt now.” One day while Robin and I were there we decided to play dress up. She got us dresses from her closet and make up out. We got all decked out with her help and went to show Grandaddy. He laughed so hard. He had us sit on his lap for a picture. That picture is still at the house. We walked all in the living room putting on a show for him…He thought it was so funny.
Some of my favorite times were just sitting out under the shade tree with them listening to stories and talking. They loved to spend time out there. They had a dog Rudy when I was growing up and they would just sit with him and talk. Grandaddy would always want us to sit on his knee, and as we got bigger he would slide over so we could sit with him on the swing. They had cats as I got older. Grandaddy did NOT want them inside, but Granny did and of course he let her have her way. I think he just decided her happiness meant more to him than being stubborn about a cat in the house. So Tom lived in the house.
They were married longer than most people are alive. 74 years. Wow. One day while sitting in the kitchen with Granny we asked her about it and she said that they got married at 16 and 17, I believe and when we asked how long they had dated she said one of the sweetest things I had ever heard… “We have been together since we were born. My momma fed us on a pillow side by side. We just were always together.” Their lives weren’t easy. They lived through very difficult times, but they did it together. He was always her protector and watched over her ever so carefully. She was his joy and source of happiness. They have left an incredible legacy of love. 4 children. 6granchildren. 13 great grandchildren. 2 great-great grandchildren. All of us have see love that “never fails.” We smile in fondness as we remember them and rejoice at the thought that they are together again. I know they will enjoy this CHRISTmas in Heaven, reunited for eternity.
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